In yet another indication that drug abuse is rampant in the United States, a new poll says that 66% of Americans believe I'll eventually be caught. One can only assume that the recent capture of Saddam has led to this delusional state of existence.

----------Jeff StahlerCincinnati Post

May I take a moment to point out some facts that may serve to deflate this balloon of artificial euphoria? First, Saddam was only on the run for eight months. I, on the other hand, have been successfully eluding the infidel forces for over two years. That means I've had almost three times as much practice!

Secondly, I have Allah on my side. He's always been there. Saddam, on the other hand, was an opportunistic weasel who only invoked Allah's name when he was desperately trying to rally support, or else trying to get laid. Allah does not particularly care for part time devotees. On the other hand, I'm not only FULL time, but I put in lots and lots of overtime as well.