Saturday, January 11, 2003

I have obtained reliable information that North Korea has nuclear warheads for sale. We have been unable to obtain one from Pakistan, and the bidding wars on eBay for the few old Soviet warheads available always push the prices to outrageous levels. Plus, you can't get a warranty with those. Thus I have decided we should make our way to the Korean Peninsula in an effort to buy one. It is my understanding that North Korean dictator Kim Il Sung is a raving lunatic, so we should get along just fine.
I have looked at a map, and it appears we are only maybe 30 centimeters away. There do appear do be some minor creases along the folds, but aside from that, the journey should be an easy one. I shall put my trusted top aid Abdullah in charge of plotting a route.