Thursday, September 18, 2003

I have heard about this "Hurricane Isabel," and quite frankly, I am jealous of her. She has accomplished something that I have attempted to do, but failed at: Paralyzing the capital city of the Great Satan.
I shall file this information away for future reference. Forget the hijacked planes, park the truck bombs, and scratch the dirty bombs. If we want to incapacitate the evil ones, all we need is the mere threat of wind and rain. Why, even Bush has fled to the mountains.... And that's something I can identify with.
I shall begin recruiting suicide meteorologists for future attacks.


Saturday, September 13, 2003

Had a helluva time fitting that helmet over my turban, though.


----------Mike Luckovich, Atlanta Journal-Constitution




Friday, September 12, 2003

What is the problem with the American people? I just released a brand new recording (no illegal downloads; BUY the CD, you cheapskates) threatening widespread death and destruction among the infidel masses. Plus, yesterday was the second anniversary of 9-11. So you would think they'd be quaking in their shorts and fleeing their cities, right?
But no!!! Instead of fearing for their lives, those damned Americans are more concerned with the wedding plans of Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez!!!
Is there no justice in this world?


Thursday, September 11, 2003


----------Mike Thompson, Detroit Free Press

Monday, September 08, 2003

Yasser Arafat just emailed me this very funny joke. Of course, in his version it was about two blonde jews, but I changed it around just a bit.

There were two godless blonde infidel dogs working for the city council. One would dig a hole, the other would follow behind him and fill the hole in. They worked furiously all day without rest, one godless blonde infidel digging a hole, the other godless blonde infidel dog filling it in again.
An onlooker was amazed at their hard work, but couldn't understand what they were doing. So he asked the hole digger, "I appreciate the effort you are putting into your work, but what's the story? You dig a hole and your partner follows right behind and fills it up again."
The hole digger wiped his brow and sighed, "Well, normally we are a three-man team, but the other godless blonde infidel dog who plants the trees is out sick today."

Wednesday, September 03, 2003

Paul Hill is slated to die in a Florida prison later tonight (Eastern Infidel Time). He killed an abortion doctor and a clinic volunteer in 1994. Hill says he was merely doing his god's work when he shot the two unarmed people.
Hmmm.... I can certainly identify with that.
He adds that the sooner he is "executed... the sooner I am going to heaven. I expect a great reward in heaven."
Well, let's hope none of those virgins get knocked up, eh, Mr. Hill?
Even though this gentleman is a Christian, I must confess to admiring him. Indeed, I admire anyone who is willing to kill unarmed people in the name of his god. So I suppose in same ways, you infidels and I aren't all that different. Shocking, ain't it?
And in return for his noble efforts at exercising his religious convictions, the United States government wants to kill him.
Sounds like Mr. Hill and I have an awful lot in common!!


Tuesday, September 02, 2003

Gee, where has the summer gone? Admittedly, it wasn't as much of a vacation as I'm accustomed to. Especially the last several weeks, the damn Americans have been bombing us again. Jeez, don't they ever get tired of it? So needless to say, I haven't been able to get away to the beach the way I used to in past years. It's a real shame, too, because I have this great timeshare on the Mediterreanean coast in Lebanon. Well, at least Yasser was able to use it between bus bombings.


----------David Horsey, Seattle Post-Intelligencer