Some people have wondered why Al Qaeda would attack Saudi Arabia. Well, why not? Everyone else already hates us, so what's one more country? Besides, they were late with their protection money last month, and busting kneecaps is much too boring.
Did you like the audio tape Ayman al-Zawahri released the other day? Very inspirational stuff, I thought. He's a pretty nasty guy, a regular sociopath with absolutely no conscience whatsoever. Fits right into Al Qaeda.
In fact, Ayman is so devoid of morals that I made him my right hand man. So if the Americans really wanted to find me, maybe they should start looking for him.
I'll be the guy on his left. With the beard.