Apparently there are some vicious--and TOTALLY unsubstantiated, I might add--rumors that the evil ones are closing in on me.

Total, absolute poppycock!!

They are no where near me. For one thing, I'm over here in Pakistan where I'm perfectly safe. There's no way Musharaff will allow infidel soldiers onto his soil. He knows better.

Unless, of course, he's still pissed about those assassination attempts a few weeks ago.

And let me also assure my dear readers that I'm not hiding in any ol' stupid spiderhole. That was just pure cowardice on Saddam's part. I have way too much dignity for that sort of thing. After all, I have an image to uphold!

That's why I'm hiding in a cave.