Gee, Ya Think?

Here's a newsflash for you: The rocket scientists running the government of Pakistan are now officially blaming Al Qaeda for Bhutto's assassination.

Well, DUH!!!!!

Of course we're responsible! Who else could have done it? Lee Harvey Oswald? John Wilkes Booth?

Unlike George Bush, I'm still relevant. And I plan to be in office for a lot longer than Bush.

Death & Despair To Warm The Cockles Of My Heart

Are cigars bad for you? If so, I may be in trouble. I've been smoking them like crazy for the last 36 hours or so. At the risk of sounding conceited, I've been congratulating myself for what's been happening in Pakistan the past couple of days. Granted, I may not have personally masterminded the operation, but I like to think I provided the inspiration for it.

Rioting all over country, mobs blaming Musharraf for Benazir Bhutto's death, the death of democracy in Pakistan, and 23 killed in all the pandemonium. What more can someone like me ask for? It's like a Christmas miracle!!!

What I find particularly amusing is all the public wailing that's taking place. If such a traumatic event were to take place in a western country, you wouldn't see all these public displays of despair. I mean, grown men, sobbing and wailing!?!? That's just embarrassing.

But I also have a theory as to why it happens: In western cultures, when such a thing happens, people immediately run inside and sit in front of the TV in an effort to find out what's going on. Everyone's confined to small groups of family members, office mates, or whatever.

But in third world countries--and I would have to place Pakistan in this category--very few people have TV's. Hell, few people even have electricity, for crying out loud! So instead of staying indoors in small groups, everyone flocks to the streets and soon a mass hysteria of sorts spreads through the crowds.

Anyway, that's my take on it. Take it or leave it.... Though if you value your life, I would recommend that you agree with me.

Well, this is a real pisser. I just got word that the town of Musa Qala in southern Afghanistan has been retaken by those stinkin' infidels. This is particularly inconvenient for me since Musa Qala had the closest Starbucks to where I'm hiding. Granted, it was still a three hour camel ride one way, but I used to undertake the journey on Sunday mornings. Nothing quite like a mocha machiato to start off my day. Plus, they had free public WiFi access.

Anyway, the loss of Musa Qala isn't that big a deal. the town has changed hands several times now, and it's only a matter of time before we retake it yet again.

In the meantime, I guess I'll go back to making tea out of goat piss.

I received more good news this morning.... Word is that Musharraf's army is losing ground to insurgents in western Pakistan. That, of course, happens to be the area where I'm hiding.

This is wildly amusing, especially since Musharraf has tried to justify his emergency powers by saying he need a free hand to battle Islamic radicals.... Or as I prefer to call them, "my buddy list."

Things are definitely looking up for me in Pakistan. Pervez Musharraf is slowly losing his grip on the country. A few weeks ago, it was former Prime Minister Benazir Bhutto who returned to Pakistan and immediately began to fire up her supporters. And today yet another former prime minister returned. This time it was Nawaz Sharif, the man Musharraf replaced in a 1999 coup.

These developments are both very significant since Musharraf has already said he will resign from the army and rule Pakistan as a civilian. But with two popular opponents back in the country, that may no longer be possible for Musharraf since he's unlikly to win any elections.

With Pakistan so fractured, it can only lead to more political turmoil. That present the Taliban with a golden opportunity to move in and take control. And since Pakistan already has nuclear weapons, well, I may just end up feeling like an infidel kid on Christmas morning.