I wonder how Melissa M. is doing after being rejected by Evan last week. Sometimes, while contemplating what new horrors to unleash upon the west, I find my mind wandering back to her image.
I know, of course, such a relationship would never work. She, a perky customer service representative, and I, a notorious international terrorist. Then again, does that necessarily need to stand between us? Can't we just put our backgrounds aside while we are together? As the Captain and Tennile once said, love will keep us together. And they wouldn't lie about such a thing.... At least not if they wish to keep their entrails intact.
Oh, who am I kidding? American women can be impossible to keep happy. All they ever want to do is cuddle and ask "So what are you thinking?"
"Well," I would say, "I'm trying to decide between a dirty bomb or bioterror." Not very romantic for them, though I certainly get off on that sort of thing.
Then they'll start complaining about the drapes in the cave not matching the bedspreads, or some such nonsense. Next comes the whining about the men putting their drinks on the furniture. I'm sorry, but holy warriors engaged in Jihad do not have time for coasters and doilies.
Goats are so much more low maintenance.....