----------Mike Thompson, Detroit Free Press

So how did you like my terrorist attack in Chicago the other day? I'm talking about Steve Bartman, who tried to grab the foul ball and in so doing crushed the hopes and dreams of millions of Cubs fans. He also prolonged an ancient curse dating back a thousand years to the time of the Crusades.
That's right: Steve was no ordinary fan: He was actually an Al Qaeda operative. And the best part is, it may yet turn out to have been a suicide mission!