There seems to be some dissatisfaction among some of my followers about my infrequent blogging habits. One cowardly infidel reader, who would no doubt soil his shorts if he were to actually meet me, complains that "why is the osaminator so freakin' lazy? Saddam was hiding in holes, doling out cash to insurgents and still made time to add a log every day. I'm really very disappointed." Another reader adds "I do have to say that Saddam encouraged more interaction from us. He even seemed to like having us around, you know, to feel superior to."

Well, first let me just say that I always enjoy hearing from my readership, even if my ultimate goal is to kill every last one of you. Granted, that would ultimately have a negative impact on my numbers, but I've never been one to waste time contemplating the longterm consequences of my actions.

However, Allah did not place me on this Earth to provide people like you with entertainment. He placed me here to wreak havoc upon the civilized world.

And do not insult me with comparisons to Saddam. It is precisely because he spent so time hiding in holes that he was able to waste his energies blogging on a daily basis. And don't think I haven't heard about those all-night keg parties he'd throw on Friday nights!! And look where his lack of focus got him: Caught by the unholy Crusaders. I, on the other hand, keep my priorities straight and only blog when I am confident of my own safety. After all, many people are depending on me.

If you want to give meaning to your miserable little lives by devoting yourselves to someone else, try Howard Dean. From what I understand, he's currently hard up for followers.

Now go change your shorts.