One of my faithful readers, who would make a great terrorist if only he weren't such a blithering coward, has informed me of a rumor that the original Star Wars trilogy will soon be coming out on DVD.

This is indeed wonderful news! Granted, these are the "Special Edition" versions, but that's fine. What really gets my knickers in a knot is when they release a set of movies, then six months later release the same set as "directors cuts," and then a year later come out with the "digitally remastered special edition" version. And just when you think they're done, they come out with another sequel in the theaters, rendering your previous 3 box sets of Terminator and T2 worthless, because now you'll have to get T3: Rise of the Damned Money Sucking DVD Box Sets!!!!

What a load of crap!! Why don't they just wait till the stars get elected Governor and stop making movies? THEN they can release a single box set and be done with it! Oh, but how naive of me! By only releasing a set of movies once, they would make less money off us suckers, wouldn't they?

And people wonder why I am so bitter....

I suppose it's true that at some future date Lucas will release will release a box set of all six movies, but let's face it: No one except the really hard core geeks will buy them. You and I both know that this last installment is likely to be as big a piece of crap as Phantom Menace and Attack of the Clones. Normal people like you and I won't want to waste our money on them.

Besides, I can already tell you how the next one will end: Luke & Leia will be born, then separated; The Republic will suffer a series of horrible military setbacks; And Anikin Skywalker will suffer some sort of hideous injury that necessitates wearing elaborate headgear that makes him sound like the spokesperson for Verizon.