I was just taking the Great One his nightly cup of hot cocoa when I saw something no mortal's eyes should EVER be forced to behold... He was having sex with a GOAT!!!! It was very disturbing.... In return for my silence, he has promised me an extra 36 virgins when I achieve martyrdom. Does Osama really have that kind of pull with Allah...? Still, I agreed, if for no other reason than that I value my entrails.
What most bothers me about this development is that I've an eye on that same goat myself.....