I'm sure that many of you were concerned about my safety and well being. Good news. Turns out that noise was only a jackal looking for discarded foreign journalist parts.
More at PerplexingTimes.com.
Disclaimer:
This site is intended to be satirical and humorous. Pretty much everything on this website is intended for amusement purposes only.
Please do not be stupid enough to believe that this blog is actually written by Osama bin Laden himself.
On the other hand, if you really are that much of a moron, maybe you shouldn't admit it to anyone.